Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Why did we invade Iraq again? I just can't remember.

And think about it - isn't it just a bit upsetting that we still can't agree why we started a war? Isn't it a tiny bit discomfiting that if you ask 10 people my initial question, you'll probably get 10 different answers?

No? You're fine? OK. Forget I mentioned it. Happy Fourth of July.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Right-wing crapweasel translations


"9/11 changed everything."

Reality-based-community translation:

"We can use 9/11 any time, in any context, to allow us to change the rules of government and society on a dime. Everything means what we say it means, nothing more or less, until we change our minds and it means something else, and has always meant that forever."

Monday, June 27, 2005

Why I love Jon Stewart, Part Infinity

"That's so true. You never hear about all the cars that *don't* blow up."

-Stewart on "The Daily Show" tonight, lampooning the Pentagon spokesman's blaming of public opinion turning on the Iraq war on too much coverage of the incessant car bombings over there.

Friday, June 24, 2005

It's on, bitch

Hey Karl Rove:

Are you sure you want to talk about the conservative response to 9/11, compared to the liberal response? You sure? OK. Let's go, baby.

It was a conservative President who sat in a classroom reading to children about a pet goat while the country was suffering its worst attack ever.

It was a conservative administration whose first response to the savagery of 9/11 was to hustle the family members of the attack's ringleader out of the country by any means necessary.

It was a conservative administration whose advice to the shell-shocked and grieving populace was simply: go shopping.

It was a conservative administration that thought the best way to find perpetrators was to announce, weeks before it happened, that they were going to bomb the country where they thought the terrorists might be.

It was a conservative Secretary 0f Defense who told the administration's top terror analyst, "There aren't any good targets in Afghanistan. Let's bomb Iraq."

It was a conservative administration that tried everything possible to block an investigation into what happened on 9/11.

It was a conservative administration that assembled a firestorm of ginned-up "intelligence" to justify a pre-emptive war against a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.

It was a conservative administration that both praised and promoted those most closely responsible for the greatest intelligence failures in the history of the United States. Go team!

It was a conservative government that decided they could wage war on the cheap, denying soldiers the equipment they need in the field, and denying veterans the health care they deserve when they come home.

It was a conservative administration who blacked out passages from the (eventual) 9/11 report dealing with the country where most of the 9/11 attackers came from: Saudi Arabia.

It is a conservative President who can't catch the perpetrator of 9/11 after nearly four years, and in fact "doesn't spend that much time on him" at this point.

It's a conservative Congress that wants to renege on $125 million in aid to injured and sick Ground Zero workers.

It is conservatives who use the dead bodies of those who perished on 9/11 as a cudgel with which to beat their political enemies.

So Karl, in the immortal words of Vice President Dick Cheney: Go fuck yourself.

Mobius strip

"The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."

-U.S. Flag Code

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Overheated - and ready to blow

In the spirit of all the overheated hyperbolic rhetoric being slung around these days*, I thought I would indulge in a little of it myself.

George W. Bush is like that serial killer that's just daring the movie detective to catch him. He leaves clues about his crimes everywhere, in places he knows the detective will find them. He calls the detective from easily-traced phone lines, and writes notes in his own blood reading "Catch me...IF YOU CAN!" He clearly has a subconscious need to be caught.

But in this particular case, the detective is distracted by Katie Holmes' engagement and some missing girl in Aruba, and can't exactly be bothered with a serial killer trying to get his attention. It's just not all that important.

* My current favorite outrageous hyperbole comes from, big surprise, that crapweasel right-wing torture apologist Dean Esmay, who has decided on absolutely no evidence that Michael Schiavo killed his wife, calling him both "O.J." and "a lowlife piece of human excrement." Look in the mirror, dude.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Thursday, June 09, 2005

In a nutshell

Downing Street Memo:
"The sky is blue. Everyone knows the sky is blue, and we talked about it."

Bush and Blair:
"The sky is absolutely not blue. That's just a patently false statement."

American media and public:
"Eh. Who really cares what color the sky is, anyway?"