TUCKER CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.
STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one.
CARLSON: What's it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities?
STEWART: If I think they are.
STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?
STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.
Jon Stewart fucking rocks. He is both my ongoing and current hero. Media Matters has the whole transcript, which is worth a read. Amazingly, I was flipping through channels and happened to catch most of Stewart's appearance; I rarely watch CNN normally. And it was bracing and fantastic and overdue.