Monday, February 14, 2005

Predictable

The right has become so predictable in its reactions to the steady stream of crap coming out of the White House, that I thought I'd try a little experiment - predict what some people would say to the following story in the Commie baby-killing MSM:

White House staff holds ritual puppy slaughter

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush and high-ranking administration officials cut the throats of 12 labrador puppies on the White House's South Lawn Sunday, marking the first of what the President said will become an annual "sacrifice to Baal."

and the reactions...

Ann Coulter
"If only Michael Moore and Howard Dean were puppies."

Rush Limbaugh
"I'm sure welfare mothers in Detroit are cooking and eating puppies right now. But you don't hear Dan Rather crying about that, now do you?"

Bill O'Reilly
"If it's gonna help the troops, then I think the folks will be for it. And they don't need the Hollywood media telling them what they should think about this."

Dean Esmay
"Michael Moore, that fat Holocaust-denying hatemonger bastard, has more blood on his hands than anyone in this administration. And I'll spit in the face of anyone who says differently."

Scott McClellan
"I knew nothing about this."

Dick Cheney
"After 9/11, everything changed. And believe me, not doing the sacrifice would have been worse than the alternative. The American people want us to keep them safe, and that's exactly what we were doing."

Random Free Republic commenter
"Hey, if it takes cutting the throats of a few puppies to win the War on Terror, I say 'BRING IT ON,' baby! Maybe they'll do some of those filthy gays next."

La Shawn Barber
"If we're not careful, we're going to politically-correct ourselves into another 9/11. I was talking to my good friend Michelle Malkin the other day, and she and I agree - a few puppies is a small price to pay. (Watch for me on CNN tomorrow at 2!)"

Matt Drudge
"PUPPIES OWNED BY HUSSEIN BROTHERS.... DEVELOPING"

Adam Yoshida
"If our leaders can't kill a few puppies without shedding tears, how are they going to muster up the courage to kill all those Muslims with nuclear bombs? This is a good start, if nothing else."

Kim du Toit
"A real man would've shot 'em."

3 comments:

Becky said...

NEWSWEEK
President Bush, according to the exclusive White House sources we are actually allowed to socialze with in exchange for writing incredibly ingratiating articles about the administration, acted decisively today in making a tough demonstration of possible future U.S. actions to all beings, human or canid, who might possibly, at some point in the future, hate freedom or might even belong to a human freedom-hater.

Anonymous said...

Go fuck yourself you piece of shit socialist scumbag degenerate!!!

Thomas More said...

Thanks, Anonymous, for making me feel needed. :-) I wonder if anyone reads these little words of mine. And here you are! Come back again soon.