Job performance review

Apparently we need to add something else to the list of things that President George W. Bush cannot be held accountable for*: inadequate federal disaster planning, and not leaving his Crawford ranch during one of the worst natural disasters in U.S. history.

*(9/11, response to 9/11, gas prices, the economy, job losses, corporate scandals, planning for the war in Iraq, selling the war in Iraq, intelligence gathering in his administration, violence in Iraq, war profiteering in Iraq, unprepared military in Iraq, $9 billion lost in Iraq, U.S. treatment of WOT prisoners, world opinion of the U.S., treasonous actions of his staff, the federal deficit, federal spending overall, environmental damage from corporate greed, the health insurance crisis, etc.)

Remind me - exactly what *is* the President responsible for?

UPDATE: August Pollak on the partisanship of the Weather Channel. And from This Modern World, New Orleans as a casualty.

Fatty Fatty Boombalatty

Funny stuff over at Poor Man Institute about Michael Moore's stay at a fat farm. Great parodies of LGF-level screaming about Moore's fatness.

Quote of the Week

"Iraq, it turns out, is the one branch of American government that the Republicans don't control."

-Maureen Dowd, The New York Times

Hitting the nail on the head

Eugene Volokh thinks he's got it figured out: gay people do try to "convert" straight people to their sinful ways. Not that this "hypothesis" deserves comment, cogent or otherwise. But one commenter gets to the heart of the matter thus:

Let’s face it. The only people actively trying to “convert” people to their brand of sexuality are HETEROSEXUALS. The whole ex-gay movement is a conversion movement. Of course it doesn’t work, but that’s another matter altogether.

Amen. When you start seeing commercials on TV and ads in magazines that promise to "deliver you from the hell of heterosexuality," that interview proto-gays as they smile creepily and tentatively touch their new same-sex partners while basking in the soft glow of their recently-installed track lighting, then we'll talk, OK?

Dean Esmay's next great idea

"Fire" the White House press corps.

Translation? Expel all press from anywhere near the President. If the President wants to say something to the people, he can issue a non-filtered press release. No questions will be allowed, ever. The President can talk to us (or not) as he pleases. Any so-called "questions" can be asked and answered at the ballot box, thank you very much.

Personally, I don't think Dean goes far enough. Why do we need "journalists" anyway? They're just liberal puke "filters," and we don't need that. If we need perspective or analysis, or information of any kind, wise bloggers like Dean (and Michelle Malkin and La Shawn Barber) will happily step into the breach and educate us. Hooray! Democracy wins!

Loyalty

"If you defend a President for sitting there for even one second after he's told America is under attack, you are loyal to a person more than you are to the truth, to a principle, or to your country."

-Bill Maher, "I'm Swiss"

More fun with the psycho right wing

Here are some choice comments from Little Green Footballs denizens about Cindy Sheehan's mother's stroke:

"adios, cindy. and stay the hell and gone...
dear God, its not enough that we have to put up with the illegals coming over the border like crap through a goose, we will let just any freaking body into Texas now"

"I'm glad the Texas Ditch Bitch had to leave.
The question is....Who will the left dredge up next?"

"Idealogy has driven people so mad that I am hoping Sheehan's mom does not die, not because she is a human being, but because somebody might use her as their ventriloquist dummy for their cause."

"Not trying to be mean or funny, but - any chance the stress her escapades have put her mother under, caused the stroke? Just saying....."

"I attacked Bush and all I got was a divorce, a mom with a stroke, and this stupid t-shirt!"

"1. The handlers were looking for an excuse to bail, and found it, or
2. This attention addict won't be able to resist the limelight, and will soon be back."

"It's too bad Rachelle Corey is not available to stand in for her while she's gone. Of course when her mom actually sees her and realizes that Cindy is that nutcase she's been seeing on TV, she'll probably have another stroke."

These people are sick, sad fucks.

Quote of the Year

Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I’m delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

-The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989)

Thanks to The Poor Man Cafe. (While you're there, don't miss Keyboard Kommando Komix. Good stuff.)

"People. They're the worst."

I'm really tired right now and I hate people. Everyone who comes through my field of vision just pisses the hell out of me right now. Ever have that feeling?

Exploitation

For all of those who believe Cindy Sheehan is exploiting her dead son, an image:

Random Cindy Sheehan thought

If you push a guy into a shark tank and the sharks eat him, who is more responsible for his death - you, or the sharks?

(sort of my riff on this)

Latest on Cindy Sheehan

Mrs. du Toit: "a brood mare"
Dean Esmay: (wait for it) "fascist propagandist"
RedState.org: "left wing media whore"

When these vile fuckers get going, there's nothing they won't say. There's no one they won't savage in their psychotic need to support this war and the President who got us there. They are a sick, sad bunch, and if I thought they could feel anything, I would pity them.

He's not sure about that internal combustion engine, either, frankly

Dean Esmay, everyone's favorite insane rageaholic contrarian, has now decided that he hates the interstate highway system.

You can't make this stuff up, people.

Stay at Dean's a while, and he'll also tell you about how HIV doesn't cause AIDS. And how women beat men as much as men beat women. And how Michael Moore is a fascist. And how he knows that Michael Schiavo murdered his wife on the night she collapsed.

I look forward to the day that he declares fluoridation is an attempt to steal our precious bodily fluids.

Keep it up, bitches

Hey Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly, et. al.:

Please keep up your attacks on Cindy Sheehan. Savage her. Pull out all the stops. Burn her in effigy, if possible. Make Photoshopped posters with her wearing an Osama beard. (E-mail me, I've got a ton of other suggestions.)

Because the more you attack a mother who lost her son in the War on Iraq, the more you expose yourself as the hateful, anti-American bitches that you are. And even more importantly, as the Rude Pundit noted, the more you attack her, the more powerful she becomes as a symbol of this monstrous failed experiment.

With love and hugs,
Thomas More.

Quote of the Day

From a random Little Green Footballs commenter, about the outrage over the "We Love 9/11!" rally planned by the Department of Defense for this Sept. 11:

"Why can't we celebrate anything good that has ever happened?"

Not. Making. This. Up.

Security blanket

There are some things that are just too terrible to contemplate. We don't want to think that our fellow citizens could be capable of the things they are so clearly capable of. We don't want to know that our neighbor could beat his wife, or that our parish priest molested a child.

But these things happen. And we need to face up to them.

Until recently, I've been unwilling to acknowledge the love that right-wingers have for 9/11. It's an almost fetishistic obsession that allows them to indulge in all their worst impulses:

• foreigners are evil, especially if they don't look like me;
• everyone is against me;
• no one understands me;
• violence solves most problems;
• all my detractors are liars and traitors;
• my country is the only power that matters; and
  
• I am the most powerful person in the world, and no one can tell me what to do.

They cling to the tragedy of 9/11 like Linus with his blanket. And no wonder - no question can't be answered with "9/11 changed everything."

As I said, I don't like facing up to this. It's not fun. But then the horrifying Mrs. du Toit steps in and reminds me. (She said she was going to stop writing her weblog; tragically, she went back on that promise.)

Face it: the right loves 9/11. It validates them. It warms them. It shields them.

And that's the truth.

UPDATE: The Department of Defense (headed up by Donald "the weapons are in the area around Tikrit, and north, south, east and west somewhat" Rumsfeld) has announced plans to stage a massive rally, parade and (I'm not making this up) country music concert to "celebrate" 9/11 this year. This would be funny if it wasn't so sick and wrong. AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!

UPDATE II: Clint Black, who will be headlining the "A! FY!" Concert on 9/11 this year (sponsored, as I've said, by the DoD), will no doubt be performing his song "I Raq and Roll" (again, I'm not making this up), which includes lines like:

If they won't show us their weapons
We might have to show them ours

and

It might be a smart bomb - they find stupid people too
If you stand with the likes of Saddam
One just might find you

Toby Keith, call your office.

Hate sites

Some excerpts from Little Green Footballs' "discussion" of the death of anchorman Peter Jennings:

"These guys are no more deserving of condolances than a suicide bomber. The media is the enemy. This is something to jubilate."

"The victims of evil are insulted again and again when we fail to vilify what ought be vilified."

"Do you pine over Goebbals? ... Do you feel pity when a bug that stings you gets squished? You feel pity for Peter Jennings. Shame on you."

"It's been a good week so far for ending the careers of Jew-hating journalists."

"Hell has another occupant."

"A dead arrogant antsemitic Canadian born WASP prick with shit for brains!"

"Being an atheist I don't believe in the place but were I a god-monger I'd wish him to rot in hell."

BONUS: Karen of "The View From My Chair" is upset that news of Jennings' passing interrupted the climactic moments of her "Law and Order" rerun. Words fail me.

Humours in harmony

Great stuff as usual from Tom Burka at "Opinions You Should Have."

How far have we come?

A commenter on my "Edumacation" post says we've come a long way in the 80 years since the Scopes Monkey Trial, where John Scopes was convicted of teaching evolution in the public schools.

I don't think we've come very far at all. If anything, in the United States right now we've circled around to the beginning again. I believe that the likelihood of another Scopes Trial, with the same outcome, is more likely today than it has been in decades.

Here's a thought experiment: imagine that in 1962, at the height of the space race, that President Kennedy publicly advocated teaching creationism (as it was called then, in a less PR-saturated age) in the public schools alongside evolution.

I wonder how that would have gone over with the mainstream media and the public?

Just leave

One of the most common witticisms uttered by the crapweasel right wing against people who protested Bush's war in Iraq was, "Hey commie - if you don't like it here, why don't you just go to Iraq!"

Here's my take on that idea:

Hey Michelle Malkin - you want to live in a country where immigrants are imprisoned? Better find somewhere else to live.

Hey Rick Santorum - want to live somewhere where gay people's lives are against the law? Get the hell out of my country.

Hey La Shawn Barber and Rush Limbaugh - you want to live in a country where torture is state-sponsored? Grab your passport, and don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Hey Bill O'Reilly - want religion taught in public school science classes? Find a country more to your liking, please. Lots to choose from out there.

Hey Dean Esmay and Connie du Toit - think dissent is treason? Just leave.

Just leave. Because with these profoundly un-American ideals, you don't belong here.

UPDATE: A special shout-out to the utterly loathsome Kim du Toit, who wants to hang and/or shoot anyone to the left of Tom Tancredo. Kim, please haul your gun-obsessed ass to the border ASAP. You're not welcome here.

Relativism run amok

When it comes to a host of topics, from abortion to child rearing, the crapweasels believe there is one and only one "correct" viewpoint. Anything else stinks of "relativism," one of the most popular boogeymen used by the right wing.

Is every family equally valid? Is every sexual orientation equally valid? Every religion? No, scream the crapweasels. NO!

So it's funny that when it comes to evolution and creationism, suddenly teachers have the "responsibility to let students know about all sides of the 'debate'." Suddenly, relativism is their bestest friend.

Americablog says it well.

UPDATE: On Tuesday night, Bill O'Reilly said that teaching kids science in science class is "fascism." Dean Esmay, call your office. (Hat tip: Rude Pundit)

Blog quote of the week

From La Shawn Barber:

I’ve been asked by several people where I stand on the Condi-for-president meme. I wouldn’t vote for Condoleezza Rice for president of the United States. First, I don’t think women generally have the sensibilities to run the country. Before you jump all over me, it’s important that you know I don’t care what you think. You’re reading this blog, so you obviously care what I think, so there it is.

Now there's a potent stew of misogyny and hubris. And don't get her started on "the ungodly" or why her fundamentalist Christian beliefs are absolutely not in conflict with her enthusiastic support of state-sponsored torture.

Charming lady, really.

The Edumacation President

In one of those news stories that can't help but wake me up briefly from my outrage overload, President Bush yesterday explicitly advocated teaching "intelligent design" in schools alongside that most evil of secular humanist inventions, evolution.

Fucker.

Wonkette has the Quote of the Day:

"Teaching [intelligent design] as 'alternative' to evolution is a little like teaching 'magic' as an alternative to physics."

Which reminds me of one of my favorite science stories. Bertrand Russell once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy.

At the end of the lecture, a little old lady from the audience came up to Russell. "What you have told us is rubbish," she said. "Everyone knows that the world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise."

Russell chuckled at this and asked the woman, "Then ma'am, what is the tortoise standing on?"

"You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the old lady. "But it's turtles all the way down."

Hate Hillary. Love Condi.

It's somewhat comical to me when I see these right-wingers tripping all over themselves to say how Condoleezza Rice would make a great President of the United States.

Here was a woman who was epically unqualified for her original job in the Bush II White House - a Sovietologist in the era of Islamic terrorism. As National Security Advisor, she presided over the greatest attack on U.S. national security in history - a massive failure on every level. (Out of 100 national security meetings the administration held before 9/11, only two were about terrorism.)

After 9/11, she became a major player in selling the Iraq War. "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud," she said about the Iraqi nuclear program, which at the time existed as doodles on a cocktail napkin.

She has never held any elective office whatsoever.

Hey! Sounds like a great candidate for Leader of the Free World!

It's been a joke going around liberal circles that the way this administration awards failure, Karl Rove is going to be the next Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. With Condi, that concept becomes reality.

UPDATE: While I was writing this post, Dean Esmay was writing this.

The way-back machine

February 24, 2001: "Saddam Hussein has not developed any significant capacity with respect to weapons of mass destruction," says Secretary of State Colin Powell. "He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors."

July 29, 2001: "We are able to keep [Saddam's] arms from him," NSC advisor Rice tells the media. "His military forces have not been rebuilt."

Yeah.